Faith, friendship, joy, Uncategorized

The joy of FOMO


Fear Of Missing Out.

It’s real. Have you ever experienced it? When all your friends are going somewhere great and you’re stuck at home with the sick kid, the big project due tomorrow, or without any money to put gas in your car. The isolation shouts, “They’re having fun without you!” FOMO happens even when things aren’t fun. When there is a tough moment and people bond around it, if you weren’t there, it feels like you missed out on something important. You are no longer on the inside and therefore you are out.

It’s why we are often glued to our phones for the latest update on social media, news stories, or why we keep one ear to the proverbial ground of happenings.

One day I was feeling particularly down, left out and isolated for one of the many seemingly silly reasons, and I thought to ask the Lord how he felt about my FOMO.

It may seem hyper spiritual or weird, but to me, I have learned to simply include the Lord in all my feelings, thoughts, and actions. Ok, when I say I include him in all, what I mean is, I intend to include the Lord in all – like right away. My intention and deep desire is to be aware of and include the Lord in every moment. But often, that looks more like swirling around the drain of some feeling or negative thought for a bit while experiencing all the pain, frustration, and other stuff associated with being human, and then going, “Oh wait! Lord, what do you have to say?!” Either way, no matter when I do it, it’s so helpful.

So, I was having this moment of FOMO and it was proving to not be life giving and producing joy in my heart, so I said to the Lord,

How do you feel about my FOMO?

To which he replied,

FOMO about them?! They should have FOMO about us!

Jesus cracks me up.

And he’s right! What the Lord and I have is awesome! I am not missing out on anything because what we have is EVERYTHING!

My attention was then turned to the very real presence of the Lord and I began to talk to him, laugh, discover, and adjust my awareness of the reality of my situation and life from God’s perspective. Suddenly it didn’t matter that I wasn’t with “them” and experiencing the latest and greatest thing. I was with HIM!

You may be thinking, what do they have that is worth FOMO? Well, when you spend time with your Creator, the one who loves you more than anyone ever could, the one who sees the best in you and believes the impossible for you, that time is far beyond what you could experience with anyone else.

But the good news is, you’re not actually missing out on what we have – you can have your own! God is always with you – yes, always. Even in the moments you think he wouldn’t or couldn’t be with you, he is. Even when you don’t feel him with you, he is. Even if you don’t believe it, he is. All you have to do is pay attention.

So what really causes that pain and fear of FOMO? Frankly, it’s when we place more weight on others than on the Lord. There is a more formal and ancient phrase used for this…. Idol worship. I know, just when you think you don’t have to worry about that commandment because you don’t have a literal shrine to a god in your home, I come along with this bomb.

However annoying, it’s still true. We hold people, things, and experiences in higher regard than the Lord. They become what we try to please, what we strive for, and what we long to have and suddenly our ladder of priorities has shifted.

FOMO has a way of revealing where our hearts have laid up treasure Matt. 6:19-20). We tend to be easily persuaded with our affections and therefore we get hurt. The Lord knows that what he offers is far greater than any earthly experience. The Lord will never quit on you. He will never disappoint you. He will never overlook you. He will never hurt you. He will far exceed all your expectations.

Your heart is safe with the Lord.

The fear of missing out is a tell. It will reveal to you what has a hold on your heart. I bless you to know that what you can have with the Lord is so good you’ll find joy in FOMO.



friendship, love, sex, and marriage, Uncategorized

Jesus broke up with me

“Can I tell you something?”

I could feel Him drawing me near, “Yes, Lord.”

“I don’t want to be your ‘big, sexy husband, Jesus’ anymore.”

“Why, Lord?”

“Because I want your actual husband to win. I gave him to you. He can’t compare to me, and I want him to win.”

“So, what do you want to be for me now?”

“I want to be your best friend. Let me be that for you. You’re looking for the right one. It’s me. I will never leave you. I will show you what a best friend looks like.”

Jesus is all sufficient. And I mean ALL. I’ve known Jesus as many things.

King Jesus

Savior Jesus

Big, sexy, husband Jesus

Best friend Jesus

Dance partner Jesus

Playtime Jesus

I have found value, connection, refuge, and my true identity in the one and only Jesus Christ. He is my joy. He is my hope. He is my peace. He is the truest and most constant source of love I have ever known.

After my divorce I was desperate to be loved and I began to look for it anywhere. I’m so thankful that the Lord rescued me from that path real quick, before I could do too much damage to myself and others (and I’m thankful for grace and forgiveness for the areas I did cause and experience pain). I needed to know what real love was. I needed to be shown what a godly marriage could be. And Jesus asked me to let Him be my husband.

For years I was totally satisfied by my big, sexy, husband Jesus. He really is the best! He knows how to speak your love language, He’s romantic, supper funny, a great date, and the best cuddler! Seriously, He doesn’t toss and turn, steal the covers, and He doesn’t get hot!

Having Jesus as my big, sexy husband meant that I was not searching for all those things from anyone else. He never disappoints. He is always there. He gave me everything so when it came time for me to open my heart to another, I wasn’t desperate and needy, susceptible to say yes to whatever man came my way. The bar was set high. Any man who was going to be let into my heart was going to have to resemble what was already so satisfying.

I met, and ten weeks later, married the incomparable Kris Bowers, but I still had my big, sexy, husband Jesus for the first few years of our marriage. I look back now and see that the Lord was so gracious to let me keep him in that role so that my new husband and I could build our love without me dumping all my hopes and dreams on this unsuspecting man after the “I do.” We got to grow into our marriage and develop a very healthy rhythm of Jesus first, then each other.

Jesus broke up with me as my big, sexy husband because the Lord saw that I needed to experience another side of His powerful and infinite nature. He knew I was ready to stand confidently in my marriage and he wanted to show me a deep and healthy version of friendship.

I’ve had some great friends in my life, but I was never satisfied. I’ve always wanted that one friend…the ride or die friend. The sister till the end friend. The hole in my heart for someone who loved me like I loved them has caused so much disappointment. Again, this wasn’t always the other person’s fault. I recognized the unhealthy need and so this Jesus.

I’ve spent the last year being so filled by my friendship with Jesus, and do you know what has happened? I’ve become a better friend, AND my friendships are healthier, stronger, and more fruitful then ever! Why? Because I’m so satisfied in my friendship with Jesus that I’m no longer putting unrealistic expectations on my friends to meet my deepest friendship desires. I get to love and be loved without any strings attached.

Jesus never fails to satisfy. He knows us so well and wants to reveal his nature and goodness in every area of our lives. When we encounter that love and power in an area, we are changed.

I love the fact that no matter how hard I try, I can never properly fit God in a box. He successfully breaks it open every time.

I want to challenge you to assess what Jesus is to you right now and if there may be an invitation to let him be something new to you. Are you willing to let him break up with your comfortable version of him?

Joyfully filled,


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