Let me begin by stating that my husband is not perfect. You might read this and think, “He’s amazing! Is he for real?” Let me assure you, he’s real. I know I won a prize. And trust me, I’ve been on the other side so I appreciate the gift of an amazing man! However, he’s not perfect. I am totally over the moon for my husband, but I am also a normal woman in a very real marriage to a normal man. I have experienced first hand the ease in which we can go from totally in love, to annoyed, over it, and even disgusted by our mate. I’ve experienced the moments where only complaints, negative thoughts, and snarky words come to mind and sometimes out of my mouth (more times than I’m proud to admit).
But, I’ve also seen what these thoughts and feelings can breed if left unchecked. My first husband told me in the first month of our marriage that he wasn’t attracted to me (well, he first told me that when we were dating but then brought it up again one month into our marriage….then why did he marry me, you ask? Good question). He told me it was up to me to fix this issue. He would tell me that if I just lost weight, if I acted like someone else (you know, since I was a professional actor I should be able to do that). Eventually it became, if I would enter into the swinger lifestyle or sleep with someone else, then maybe he’d find me attractive. He was so deep in his tainted perspective of me that he couldn’t see me any other way.
I learned through that experience that what we focus on when we look at our mate has everything to do with how we feel about them. Our feelings toward our spouses are a choice. Yes, I have a freaking hot husband, but let me tell you what the absolute sexiest things about him are….
His worship – my man is a worshiper. He is sold out, passionate, and worships with total abandon.
His prayer life – my husband is in the closet. No! Not that that closet! His prayer closet, silly! It’s pretty much his favorite place in the world and he’ll lose hours in there.
His daddy-of-three-daughters skills – he can do hair, pick out a fabulous outfit, and out shop all of us. Nothing sexier than when he loves them well.
His confidence – there is something about my husband that will make you ask the question, is he confident or cocky? It’s sexy! He almost gives off that bad boy vibe, until you realize he’s actually humble, never foul with his words, and ALWAYS respectful.
His humility – under the confident exterior, there is a spirit of of real humility. He really does want to be molded to be more like Jesus everyday, and he’s not afraid of the process.
His desire to grow – never have I met someone with such a desire to learn and grow. He’s never done. Always pressing into learn more about the Lord, or whatever thing he’s into…it usually involves sweating a lot and pushing his body to the limits, or competing.
His creativity – I love watching him get an idea and see it to completion. One of my favorite dates is a trip to Lowe’s or Home Depot! He’s got a real gift, and whether it’s something we’re doing together or a piece of art he’s creating in his garage/studio, I love seeing him create! He’s a project finisher and I’m so inspired by him. http://www.facebook.com/theartofalionbykrisbowers
His commitment to me – my husband is a transparent and honest man. I trust him. I really trust him. He loves to be with me, and the way he desires to protect what we have makes me feel cherished.
His humor – he’s a nut. He knows when to laugh and doesn’t let any of his girls get too far down the rabbit hole of drama before he has us giggling, usually in some sort of jiu jitsu choke hold.
His muscles – yup, I said it. But it’s low on the list! I don’t just love the way they look, I LOVE how safe he makes me feel. He’s always alert and aware of his surroundings so I can walk with my head in the clouds and not fall off the curb. When I’m with him, I’m untouchable.
The list goes on, but I’ll spare you. My husband isn’t perfect, but he loves Jesus more than he loves me. I’m not perfect, but I love Jesus more than I love my husband. I believe this is the glue that makes us stick. It also is the lens though which we see each other. The moment where the enemy wants to get me to grumble and complain about my husband, I choose to focus on what I love about him. Instead of cursing him, I bless him, and bless him, and bless him!
I pray that you will join me in focusing on the qualities unique to your spouse. The Lord has designed them and crafted them with shiny and priceless qualities, and you get to help polish those gems! What an honor! The things that make your spouse who they are, are purposeful! Enjoy them, celebrate them, and see how it changes your perspective!
Joyful and hot for my husband,